Tonight I think my 23 year old kitty Sparky may be beginning the active dying process. I am much more aware now of the stages of dying that we and our animal companions move through as we near death. It is a kind of backwards dance with life; a graceful exit. I have learned much through practical experience with dying patients. But even more valuable was attending the first two International Veterinary Hospice Symposiums sponsored by the Nikki Hospice Foundation (www.pethospice.org) and taking Dr. Ella Bittel's Spirits In Transition course (www.spiritsintransition.org).
I am very peaceful and comfortable being present at a beautiful goodbye for my beloved pet. I am making sure he is comfortable and trying to allow his wishes and not intefere as long as I believe he himself is ok with it. For the first time I am wholly committed to this experience. I am not attempting to control or change or "fix" it. I am trying to completely accept the best most holistic definition of Hospice as allowing the dying process. I hope I can accept it, not fear or avoid it, not postpone or hasten this precious death. I think I can do this because he is not suffering and I am not as ignorant as I was!
Sparky is teaching me about my own life as I accept his death. I feel so much at this moment like celebrating this miracle much as if it was a birth! These are very personal statements, and I am not saying I would never euthanize him as I did many many animals in my past history. I just pray that I do not need to. I am hopeful that I can let him take his own time to die.
This is absolutely the first time I have greeted the end of a dear life with joy and peace and not fear,avoidance or tragedy. I will write more on these specifics of what I have learned later.
I have no idea when he will decide to pass into the next realm. I am humbled and grateful to have arrived at this place to be just with him now in this sacred space.
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As with my people clients, as a VNA employee, I have always found the idea of passively "letting someone die" difficult and feel the overwhelming need to "FIX" them heal them, keep them alive,which is why I prefer not to work in the Hospice area of our agency very often in more recent years I come to realize that it is our own need to hang on that can sometimes be selfish , I have not had the opportunity to encounter a palliative/hospice program for Dogs, but am now learning more about this and feel it to be a wonderful concept so that the pet may pass at home .
ReplyDeleteA beautiful post, Jaime. I'm holding you and your beloved Sparky in my heart . . .
ReplyDeleteI, Ruger am a Gernman Shepard. Ma's cat Meow cat is suffering from bladder problems. She also is going through a very difficult time not knowing what to do. She knows if she takes him to the vet it may be the last time she sees him & she does not want to see him suffering before he leaves. Ruger's heart & ma's heart go out to you & ma will pray for you, Sparky & Meow cat. WOW, hes 23? that must be a record for a cat! Hang in there, you are doing the right thing!!!
ReplyDeletedear doc jaime we can have all the knowlege of how we should accept death in a animal they do it all the time they dont need us to be there or comfort them they know where there going and that its natural and part of living its the iron hold we have of them in out hearts that makes it hard to take their passing it scares us it doesnt them we want to know that they know we feel sad for them having to pass from this world we will hope to see them again you! know we will God loves all his creations sparky will and is fine hes going home!
ReplyDeleteI am losing my best friend Rocky and I am so scared... I want to make it easier, but meet resistance from vets. He wants to live, I don't think he's ready to leave yet. Nobody wants to help me manage his discomfort. I just keep hearing, "It's a waste of time." That hurts the most...
ReplyDeleteBryan, you are very brave to go against the grain. Now I can imagine what people went through when human hospice first came into existence. Please read my Hospice For Animals folder on About.com/vet med forum or email me and we can start a dialogue. Follow the links above in the post to find a Vet who practices Hospice in your area. Or, to educate your Vet. A housecall Veterinarian may actually be more open to the concept of keeping Rocky comfortable. Remember, we often, in our ignorance euthanize animals for normal dying processes we misinterpret as suffering. Follow your heart, stay in the present with Rocky and you will be able to discern his wishes and what is right for him and you. Euthanasia is necessry on the right circumstances. There just is a better option with good support. My heart and prayers go out to you and Rocky.
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Dr. Jaime
Thanks for your advise. It was a hard time for me and my cat. I'll never forget your help.
ReplyDelete