Saying Goodbye To Sparky: Final Chapter 3/04/2010

Mesa keeps watch over Sparky

I thanked Sparky for moving to the new house with me.

Mesa loved him

Sweet Mesa kept vigil, watching over Sparky until one day before he died.  She sat for weeks, literally touching him all hours of the day until March 3, when I saw something very odd.  She stood up, and very carefully and deliberately stepped over his body one leg at a time.  She then walked away and never showed any interest in him again.  I knew she had said her goodbyes.  The next day he grew weaker and weaker, hardly lifting his head and his body became more and more stretched out.  I had to go to the title company one more time to deliver new loan documents in a very stressful, long drawn out refinance that was forced on me due to complications with the purchase on my new home.  I had to turn these papers in by five o'clock, and I was leaving town the next morning.  I knew Sparky was finally getting ready to leave this life, and I did not know what to do.  I left him on my bed for a few minutes and went to make some tea.  I heard a terrible THUMP and thought he had rolled off the bed onto the floor.  I was panicked and did not know what I would find as I ran from the kitchen to the bedroom.  Sparky had hardly moved for an entire day, yet there he was next to my bed on the floor dragging himself across the floor.  My heart broke as he started to howl.  I picked him up yet he struggled with all he had left and climbed frantically up my shoulder.  I took a deep breath and tried to feel what it was he wanted.  I put him back on the bed, only to have to watch him launch himself right off the edge and again, he fell, and hit the floor with a terrible thud.  I opened my bedroom door, and watched in panic and horror as he dragged himself through two rooms and pressed his nose against the french doors leading outside to the back yard.  He looked like a turtle trying to push open those doors with his nose alone.  He looked up right into my eyes and meowed. It was not any longer a howl, but a demand.  For a moment he again was my demanding bossy cat, though physically he was just skin and bones, his voice had all the strength and timbre of his younger self.  Suddenly I relaxed.  I knew he wanted to die outside NOW.  I asked him to wait as I ran and got his favorite blanket, grabbed him and rushed out into the beautiful Spring Arizona air and the sun warming the backyard.  I put the blanket and Sparky on the ground and lay down by him, now he was almost completely motionless.  Almost.  He stuck out his paw, and to my shock grabbed my hand with his nails and pulled it to him.  I stared in wonderment, all fear and anxiety had evaporated as I tried only to BE THERE with him.  He was running the show!  In another instant he completely relaxed and he seemed to sigh very deeply.  It came into my mind to tell him his life story and the words just began to pour out of me.  I thanked Sparky for moving to the new house with me, and waiting to die until I knew I could keep this home.  I told him what an amazing cat he was and how much he meant to me, and also how much Mesa loved him.  I told him how grateful I was that he had shared so much of my life with me.  I reminded him that he had gotten me through Vet School, the beginning and end of a marriage, and the birth of my daughter.  He had been there so long; longer than any man, through both wonderful and terrible times.  He was there so long I could not remember my life without him.  I told him I loved him, but I would be OK, and he could go.  

I will always love you Sparky

He breathed out deeply and he was gone.  I promised him I would bury him right there, in the spot he had chosen to die.  


I planted two small red sunflower seedlings next to his grave, and they flourished.  They grew tall and beautiful and made many seeds that fell there.  I know there will be many more red sunflowers next year to remind me of my special Sparky.


I will always love you Sparky.  You taught me that death was truly a beautiful journey, you taught me to let go of my fears.  I know I will see you again.
xxxjme

The First Post/What is iaahpc?

We are here to help with the difficult questions, answers, feelings, decisions, and current lack of information on hospice care for animals.  This means we are here to help anyone concerned with the end of life compassionate care for animals or relieving pain in animals near the time of death or trying to understand and relieve pain in animals.  Whether you are a professional, (Veterinarian looking for information about providing Veterinary Hospice care,a Human Palliative Medicine provider, a Veterinary Nurse, or any Animal Care Professional) or just trying to get answers for your own animal, we are here.  Currently there is not a lot of information out there.  There ARE Veterinarians who have been practicing Animal Hospice (or Palliative or comfortable pain relieving care) for decades.  Unfortunately they are not yet in every city in the world, in every State in the USA, nor do most Veterinarians even know Animal Hospice exists.  There is a great deal of information available from both professional, commercial, owners and breeder sources to easily answer questions you may have about your new kitten or puppy.  We want to make information about Elder pet care just as easy to find when you need it.  Because we are all taking such good care of our animals, they are living longer and longer just like we are.  They are old enough to have more geriatric diseases and we must each ask what we want to do given our personal beliefs, what we can do given our resources and how to make these decisions in the best way we can.  We want to provide a place where those conversations, decisions and consideration can occur.  We also want to educate both Veterinarians and owners as well as other health professionals can get information or find a practitioner near you who can help.  There are both Allopathic, and Naturopathic  and inbetween Veterinarians practicing Palliative Care for animals.  There are those of us who believe in euthanasia and those that don't.  We hope we can provide a place for these debates to occur.  Our forums are open for discussions now, and we hope that you will help us grow this field so that when Jacquie-O needs it, there will be a place nearby that she can go.  Please comment here or contact us through www.iaahpc.org.  We grew out of a need that one dedicated Veterinarian (Dr. Amir Shanan) with a core group of people active in Veterinary Hospice Care and Veterinary Medicine.  This was done after the First International Symposium for Veterinary Hospice Care was held at the University of California at Davis College of Veterinary Medicine March 28-30,2008.  This conference was sponsored by the Nikki Hospice Foundation For Pets and the Assisi International Animal Institute, Inc.  I will talk about this legacy in another post, but in the meantime you can learn more here: www.PetHospice.org (Nikki Hospice Found.)  or www.iaahpc.org, the International Association for Animal Hospice and Palliative Care website for information about what this organization is trying to accomplish.  I say "we" because I am committed to helping this organization get off the ground.  It is very new just having been granted 501c status that allows members to join.  This is not an "official" website, I have just been inspired to add this to the effort.  I have been so humbled and overwhelmed at the amazing conversations that have taken place through Twitter.  I also have been reinvigorated because I see just how important this is for the gentle creatures that we love.  I practiced Veterinary Medicine for a long time before I knew about Animal Hospice.  I struggled years with trying to find the most gentle ways of touching and treating older animals that were in pain.  I spent many years trying to read and communicate with others about euthanasia and it is a sacred and heavy responsibility to decide on and to assist.  I spent many of my working hours counseling pet parents  about their choices and options.  I had a "comfort room" like a living room where I could talk quietly and let parents and kids spend the night with the ill animal members of their family.  I began to understand that some folks just did not feel it was their right to euthanize their pet, and I helped those animals be as comfortable as possible until their time came to leave our world.  I had practiced Animal Hospice for many years without knowing it existed.  No matter what your beliefs are it is wrong for each Vet, each pet owner and each animal to go through this re-inventing the wheel.   It is wrong we are left feeling alone with these wonderful/terrible questions.   Animal Hospice needs to be as much a part of your pets lifeplan as good preventative care and good nutrition.  Hospice needs to be a part of every veterinary practice or Veterinary Hospice Practitioners be available everywhere.  I want this to be easier for Jacquie-O when she grows old BECAUSE I took such good care of her at the beginning of her life so I CAN take better care of her near the end of her life.  Please, comment, here or follow me on Twitter and let me know what you think!  xxxjmedvm

Under Construction!Coming Soon!

Hi!  We are busy figuring this out,and we will get this up and running real soon!  This will be a place to remember your pets,ask questions,discuss end of life and palliative care....in short:WELCOME TO hospice4animals!!!